Jesse has been working out of town since May 9th - coming home on weekends. It's been really hard on the both of us. Before I got married, I could do anything alone: drive across the country, move to and live in Philly, go to movies, go out to dinner..... But now I'm dependent on him. I miss him so much when he's gone, and it feels like a part of me is missing, and I guess in actuality it's true! I don't like doing things alone any more, I would rather have him by my side.
We live for the weekends! That part is kind of fun. We plan dates every weekend and spend the entire time enjoying each other's company and talk. This experience has taught me that time is short and we are responsible for how we use it. And that we can choose to be happy. For a while at the beginning I was very angry and sad, mad at him that he kept leaving me alone. But he was so kind to me, encouraging me to be strong and that he was missing me just as much as I was missing him. It was then that I decided not to sit around and mope.
I've taken up new hobbies and possibly found a passion in my free time, keeping busy to avoid sadness. I've read three books, finishing the fourth; I've started soap making; I rent international movies to open my mind; I work out everyday and drink protein shakes! I read a conference talk with breakfast, let my hair go curly and I enjoy going to work! I go over to friends houses and they come to mine. I feel alive for the first time in a long time. I am very blessed.
I still miss my husband terribly, especially when I'm lying awake it our bed, wishing I could have a kiss goodnight. But I know that he'll be home soon, and to quote Jane Eyre,"[receive] a hearty kissing as a welcome"! :)
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